As the National Parents Association notes, 2023 was a major year for collaborative divorce. During this year, the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. The IACP is a major advocate of collaborative divorce, an alternative dispute resolution (ADR) strategy that is quickly growing in popularity. The power of collaborative divorce to resolve disputes, reduce family tensions, and protect the best interests of children helps explain why the IACP was nominated for such a major award. But while collaborative divorce is gaining more notoriety and recognition, many Texas residents may remain relatively unclear about how it works. A divorce consultation with a family law attorney in Dallas County could represent an opportunity to learn more about the process. Spouses and parents may want to consider asking a few key questions to get the most out of this initial meeting. Continue this conversation with Zegen Law Firm, PLLC at (972) 653-0448. Aside from Dallas County, we also serve clients in Collin County, Rockwall County, and Denton County.
What Is Collaborative Divorce?
Spouses may already have a general understanding of collaborative divorce before their first meeting with a lawyer. However, it may help to receive an in-person explanation of the general process. Compared to other forms of ADR like arbitration or mediation, collaborative divorce is relatively new. Also known as “collaborative law,” this process involves private negotiations on all aspects of divorce. Unlike other forms of ADR, each spouse can bring their own legal counsel to the negotiation table. These lawyers often have considerable experience with collaborative divorce, and they may have certain credentials or training that help ensure productive negotiations. As the American Bar Association notes, collaborative divorce was invented by a divorce attorney in 1990 who felt he could improve upon existing ADR methods like mediation and arbitration.
In mediation, the mediator is supposed to serve the best interests of both parties while remaining completely neutral. While this might make sense in theory, many spouses feel that mediators struggle with conscious or unconscious bias toward one party. Spouses may also feel as though there is no one “on their side” during these negotiations. With collaborative law, each spouse can always turn to their own lawyer for guidance and advice. While the two sets of collaborative lawyers work together, they also protect the interests of their own respective clients.
What Happens if Collaborative Divorce Fails?
During a divorce consultation, spouses may want to learn what happens if this process fails. As with mediation, collaborative divorce can only lead to “suggestions” rather than legally binding decisions. As a result, spouses are free to walk away from this process at any point. Collaborative divorce relies on voluntary participation from the beginning to the end. If this process fails, both spouses will need to fire their respective attorneys, hire new attorneys, and likely proceed with litigation. Spouses may want to discuss this “worst-case scenario” in more detail with Zegen Law Firm, LLP during a potential divorce consultation.
What Kind of Experience Does the Lawyer Have With Collaborative Divorce?
During a divorce consultation, it makes sense to ask whether the attorney has experience with collaborative divorce. A spouse might want to ask how many collaborative divorces the attorney has handled over their career. Some attorneys receive additional credentials and training on collaborative divorce. These credentials go above and beyond normal law school education, and they may be worth inquiring about during a divorce consultation.
A spouse might also want to ask an attorney whether they have experience with specific challenges associated with their unique situations. For example, a spouse might face negotiations with a narcissistic, combative ex. Does the lawyer have experience with these kinds of difficult negotiations? Perhaps the spouse is more concerned with reducing overall legal fees. Does the attorney have any strategies in mind that could make this process more affordable? Maybe the key priority is keeping the family home. In this situation, it might help to ask whether the lawyer has helped other spouses keep their primary residences via collaborative divorce.
What Are My Needs and Wants?
While a spouse might ask their prospective lawyer numerous questions during a divorce consultation, it also makes sense for a spouse to ask themselves certain questions. Before arriving at this initial meeting, a spouse might want to think about their needs and wants. These could be crucial concepts during collaborative divorce negotiations, and learning to express and distinguish between needs and wants may be beneficial. A “need” is something that a spouse must achieve at the conclusion of the collaborative divorce, while a “want” is something that they could live without. Often, needs are far less specific than wants.
For example, a parent might “need” to spend a reasonable amount of time with their child after their divorce becomes final. This is something that may be important for the mental health of both the child and the parent. At the same time, that parent might “want” to have Christmas dinner with their child every year. The need for reasonable parenting time is both understandable and achievable during collaborative divorce, and the other parent should be able to sympathize with this goal. On the other hand, the desire to spend every Christmas dinner with the child is less achievable, less reasonable, and less likely to result in sympathy from the other parent. The same logic is true regarding the family vehicle, the family home, and many other points of negotiation. When a spouse learns to express their needs rather than their wants, there is generally a higher chance of positive outcomes. This is why it may be important for parents to ask themselves difficult questions about their needs and wants before the first divorce consultation.
Learn More About Collaborative Divorce With Zegen Law Firm, PLLC
At first, collaborative divorce may seem complex. However, many parents quickly discover that this ADR strategy is much simpler than litigation. Collaborative divorce also tends to be more affordable, less stressful, and faster than a divorce trial. In addition, the process is inherently more private. That said, collaborative divorce is also a highly personalized process. In order to gain a complete understanding of the road ahead, spouses may need to ask their lawyers (and themselves) specific questions about their children, finances, and many other factors. As a result, it may be difficult to determine the most appropriate questions through online research alone. Consider continuing this conversation with a Dallas County collaborative divorce lawyer at Zegen Law Firm PLLC. Residents of Dallas, Plano, McKinney, Wiley, and Allen may contact us at (972) 653-0448.
With thirty years of experience Robin Rubrecht Zegen will help you identify and prioritize your goals and she will explain the options available for achieving them. She guides her clients through the transition while helping them maintain their relationships and dignity.
She is a member of the State Bar of Texas Family Law Section; Dallas Bar Association Family Law Section; Collin County Bar Association Family Law Section; Frisco Bar Association, and Plano Bar Association. She is a Master of the Bench in the Curt B. Henderson American Inns of Court.